Thursday, July 31, 2008

10 Ways John McCain Is Like Paris Hilton & Britney Spears

If you haven't yet seen John McCain's new anti-Obama advertisement, it handily splices in photos of Britney Spears and Paris Hilton in between statements on Obama's opposition to further offshore oil-drilling and support for taxing electrical companies.

What's the connection between two celebrities and those two issues? None that we can see (and we looked hard), but apparently Britney and Paris are famous-for-no-reason (other than, oh, a musical career, a television show and a couple of forgettable movie roles between them) and Obama is popular-for-no-reason and that's bad. Well, McCain might not have the popularity of Obama, Britney or Paris, but we've counted the things he does have in common with the latter two.

  1. John McCain was held in the Hanoi Hilton.

  2. John McCain was held in a camp, The Simple Life was held in a camp.

  3. John McCain's wife, elder daughter, Paris and Britney all use the same shade of hair dye.

  4. John McCain and Britney both left their first spouses high and dry and then slept around for a while.

  5. Kevin Federline left Britney a single parent with weekend visitation; John McCain left Cindy in Arizona to parent singly and only came home on the weekends.

  6. Paris Hilton has her stock pose of putting her hand on her hip, John McCain has his stock pose of giving a thumb's up. (Both are terribly out of date.)

  7. Paris wants to be seen embracing the Bible but does nothing overtly religious or compassionate; John McCain wants to be seen embracing the Bible-thumpers but does nothing overtly religious or compassionate.

  8. Paris uses the "n" word, and some suspect John McCain does, too. (McCain did call his wife a cunt, though. It's close!)

  9. All of them travel with extensive entourages of gay men.

  10. None of them would draw a crowd of 200,000 people for a speech about America's relationship with Germany.

All have dead eyes and all three can get really confused. And are often photographed while in said state.

Hat Tip to Jezebel

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Supporting The Troops is Different Than Being A Veteran

Watching the Olberman video, only confirmed an old political reality. Americans don't necessarily care for the facts. That McCain repeatedly votes against funding for veterans will not factor in the vote decision for most Americans. This is because most Americans do not pay attention to the minutia of policy making. They care about the big picture and the "narrative." By voting record, McCain is clearly one of the most conservative members of the Senate, but his narrative is one of independence.

Monday, July 14, 2008

The Video Professor Helps McCain

It's true! John McCain is "aware of the Internet" and is actually "learning to get online myself."

But how did he accomplish this feat? The truth can now be revealed:

He needs to order that lesson on Economics next!

Flip-flop he's got covered. WMD detection is a bit late. Disaster Recovery and Peanuckle (Pinochle?) can wait until after November.

Saturday, July 5, 2008

The Power of Song, Pete Seeger

This is a program from PBS, focusing on Pete Seeger's music and message.